13. Myra

Alexandra is still sitting on the cold ground in the very same spot I let her down. I doubt the fire I started keeps her warm from this distance, and it surely is not more comfortable here than it would be on the branch next to me. Her mouth is shut tight, lips thin, eyes empty . The only reason we are sitting on the banks of a lake is because I dragged her here after a man caught us in the alleyway. Fortunately he was so distressed that Alexandra and I were able to escape. Her dress and skin are dirty with patches of dried blood and she has yet to wash it all off.
I stand up abruptly, but Alexandra does not notice or even look at me. I dig through the one bag we have left, searching for some kind of cloth, and come up with my pink nightgown. I rip the seam off with ease while I make my way over to the lake. As soon as the ripped sleeve is soaked I return to her and tap her shoulder. She looks around, only now registering where we are.
“What is wrong?”, I whisper, sitting down next to her. It is the first time since the attack that her eyes focus on me.
“What did you say?”, she requests.
Instead of using my voice, I use my hands. It might be a bit hard to comprehend what I am signing in the dark, but I am too shaken up from the attack. I am sure she is too and does not want to concentrate on my voice too much.
Are you okay?
I watch how tears spill out of Alexandra’s beautiful green eyes. We have known each other for so long and I have never seen her cry. My stomach twists.
“Shhhh.”, I say as an attempt to calm her. My hands cup her face, forcing her eyes to focus on me. It is hard to ignore the flakes of blood falling off her face and setting on my skin. Even now, covered in blood and teary eyed, she is the most breathtaking person I have ever landed my eyes on. I take her into my arms, holding her tight to me, warming her.
When the sobs stop, I let go of her to carefully brush over her face with the wet cloth. It is a little hard to scrape it all off since it has been sitting untouched on her face for so long.
I am so concentrated on her face I nearly miss her words. “I don’t want to fight as a knight, in armies or wars. I find no joy in it.”
I am not surprised. Becoming a knight has never been a dream of hers but rather a command from her father. I stop cleaning her face and use my hands to ask, Is that what is bothering you?
“No. At least not entirely.”, she answers. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I killed a man today. I felt his life drain out of him.«
But you saved us. You saved me.
Her voice drops and turns raspy. “There is only one reason I’m doing all of this.”
What is it?
Her eyes run over my face, taking in every part of me. And I am willing to give her that, all of me. “You.”
My breath hitches and butterflies erupt in my stomach. I do not dare to move my hands, still mere inches from her face. These are the words I have always wanted to hear, but now that they are out, I do not know how to react.
Alexandra reaches out to take my hands. Her finger brushes over the palm, drawing invisible patterns onto my skin. “It’s always been you. You’ve always come before my wellbeing, my happiness, my life. It’s you above all.”