I Am Selfish

And maybe my mouth surpasses my head sometimes when I talk

Like when my feet race when I walk

Like the thousand thoughts swimming

And my ears are hurting trying to keep it all together

Because my eyes are apparently failing 

And my head is dizzy

And my mood is at swing

I just don’t want to swing

I feel weak

As the strongest thing in me 

The reason of my lungs breathing

Will be far from me

I’m sorry I was selfish

I’m sorry I still am

Because I don’t know when’s what

Because I don’t know what’s when

Like I don’t know if I am real or if this is real

Or if my parents are

And I’m tired of trying to see it through

Because I’m only a lost cause

Trying to know what’s what

Trying to explain everything outside of me and inside of me

And I’m trapped and I’m in a maze

And I can’t get out and I’m scared

And I’m confused and everyone is there to help

But I don’t know who’s true

Because every step I’ll take hurts me

It’s either you or you

But when is it about me

When is it time for me to live my life for me

Maybe never, because I did it and messed up

But as if life was supposed to be perfect

I can take it that it’s not

But it’s hard to deal with if it hurts

Because I’m sorry I am selfish

But I never wanted anyone to hurt

So I choose to hurt myself instead