Still holding on to you

Still holding on to you

All the pretty sunglasses I have

will not hide my tears.

And all my obvious excuses

will not hide the fact that I want to be alone.

And all the missing things in my home

will not hide the fact that I am trying to forget you.

But I will not, I cannot, and I do not want to.

Maybe it would be easier to leave everything behind and buy a new house,

but not a new home.

Maybe I should try to make friends with new people and get in touch with old friends,

but they would not be you.

And maybe I should let go of the past and concentrate on my future and my career,

but I cannot because everything in the present reminds me of the past

and keeps me from thinking about my future.

And I know it is wrong to hold on to your wings.

Even my hands hurt because I held on to them too long,

and my heart is broken into pieces that won’t heal if I keep holding on.

It will only break my heart into more little pieces.

I am hurting you, and because I am hurting you, I am also hurting myself.

I will not let go of you, if I do not let go of you, I will never experience anything new,

I will never get the chance to find meaning in life and move on.

Life goes on, with or without me, and I can choose to be stuck in the past or live in the present.