The Story of…

Mari took her glass in her hand, took a deep breath, and took a big sip of her drink. Her eyes were fixed on an invisible point on the table.

“I’m sorry, Mari,” someone had once said, “but I will come back or be by your side.” At that moment, Mari understood that those who said such words never truly came back or stayed. And then there were those who were physically present but had drifted away from touching her soul. That was the worst.

As this thought settled in her mind, she embarked on a journey into the past. She thought about everything, hour by hour, day by day. But she couldn’t find the answers. She vividly remembered the day she felt something change, but what had happened? That, she couldn’t recall. Everything felt like a part of a prearranged plan, as if someone had foreseen it all… But how could that be?

What had Mari done when things changed? Or what was she doing? What was she still doing? She just watched. She pretended as if nothing had happened. She kept her feelings, thoughts, and loneliness to herself. She couldn’t tell anyone because everything she had to say was just feelings. She knew those feelings were real, but there was no way to prove them. She didn’t want to seem crazy. She couldn’t share the troubling signs with her friends either because they had their own problems. Mari had to support them. But in her own situation, she was sinking deeper every day. Every morning, she woke up with heavier questions than the day before, and every night, she felt even lonelier.

Finally, after weeks, she found herself in a crowded setting. Despite the storms raging inside her, she held onto the hope that maybe this time would be different. Maybe someone would truly understand her, offer her a lifeline. But that didn’t happen.

Days passed in that crowd. People laughed, chatted, joked. Good food, good music… But for Mari, there were only walls. As she walked, the walls seemed to move with her. “Walls I will never pass, walls I will never break…” she thought. The emptiness inside her grew, deepened. For a moment, she looked around. How many people felt like me? How many people feel even lonelier despite being surrounded by so many others? I wish I could find them… those who would understand me…

Was it always like this? She tried to remember. But even her most recent memories were filled with loneliness. Surrounded by crowds, yet alone; laughing, yet crying inside; silent, yet screaming within.

And finally, an inner voice whispered to her: “Mari, we have come full circle. You need to accept that at some point, you were disregarded, that someone stopped touching your heart. Accept it so that moving forward becomes easier.”

Mari took one last sip of her drink. She nodded quietly. Maybe it was really time to accept it…