by Ana Volkland
Their bodies didn’t touch.
It was already dark, but she could sense every inch of him on that tiny 90 cm student home matress. His breath of cigarettes and unbrushed teeth left a soft warmth on her forehead.
She started remembering an article about how mutual attraction shows. Something along the lines of:Â If somebody likes you, they will not only look at your eyes, they will start looking at your mouth. It means they want to kiss you.
She definitely stared at his mouth today. Did he notice?
He had such a cute tooth gap.
While carefully and slowly breathing back into his direction, her brain ran through the day they had just spent together. The radio clock on the desk told her it was almost midnight, and she knew that it was Sunday. But for some reason, she had lost her sense of space and time. Whatever had happened in the last few days, it had led to this moment, to this room – and she just could not wrap her head around it. This summer was different from what she had imagined it to be. The crowded cable car that had forced them to hold on to each other today, the knowing yet shy looks into each other’s eyes, the bus ride back to the city when her cold hand had accidentally landed in his sweaty one, her dry throat, him and his ever-so-gentle smile, the tooth gap…something in her gut told her that however this turned out, it would stay with her forever.
She tried to think of what they looked like from the outside in this tiny room on the 11th floor of Walter Gage Student Residence where they all stayed this summer. This group of total strangers from all over the world who – within days – had become so close. Too close.
Petrified of lying next to him and feeling his breath intensifying, she kept thinking of things to distract herself.
I do not want to fall in love.
I do not want to fall in love.
I do not. want. to fall. in love.
I. do. not. want. to.
Meanwhile, somebody’s laughter echoed up the tower walls through the open window. It was about time to shut down the noise inside her head and break the silence between them, she decided.
“Thank you for this beautiful day.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the radio alarm clock display finally jumping to 00:00, when his soft and quiet answer hit her right in the chest.
“No. Thank you!”
It had been a while since she had put her head underwater, but instinctively, like preparing for a deep dive, she took a deep inhale. He followed. While the taste of cigarettes reached her upper lip, she could feel him inhale again.
“I think I fell in love with you.”
© Ana Volkland 2024-09-12