Life often seems to be a very weird game of chess, but it isn't. The parties aren't black and white, as they seem: a lot of people are just very colourblind.
And I've been myself, honestly. Young people tend to think in the plain concept of good and evil, because it's easier and we are also just not as experienced as others. If something seems to be bad, we simply stay away or fight it. If someone does something bad, he is a bad person. We don't need to know people to be able to judge them. Judgement is one of our oldest instincts after all.
The world is full of it. Thanks to the internet, more than ever. People throw their opinion at you, their view on life, inspirational quotes and lifechanging tips. Most of them even contradict oneself. Should I work harder or enjoy life more? Should I be forgiveful or not take anyones toxic behavior? Sometimes it's like I'm drowing in a sea of opinions, and there is nothing to what I can hold on to.
We're on a chessboard, but we're throwing colours everywhere. Suddenly, you don't know who's the white and the black king anymore, you don't know who to defeat and who to save. People throw their colours at you, but their point of view distinguishes from others. Where one person sees red, the other sees green, where one sees yellow, another thinks it's blue. And everyone looks at you and sees a different colour. So what are you? Who do you want to be? What opinions do you follow? Which colours do you see?
This is a neverending fight, and the urge to run away and look at this mess from afar, just as if you are a visitor on planet earth, watching it for maybe 80 years, is really strong. I know what I want, but what I want is suddenly turned into an opinion, said opinion gets turned against me, and people try to convince me that I want something totally else. And when I give in, other people come and have a different opinion. Pointless. This whole thing is pointless.
So more and more, I turn into an alien. Oh, you want my opinion to this topic? Sorry, I am not from here, I'm not involved. Never asked to be here, never asked to be a part of this.
I know who I am. What my priorities are: I don't hurt people, I help when help is needed, I try to keep myself happy, I protect the ones who are under my protection. You don't like that? Oh no, I won't fight for my opinion. I won't argue with you, you will not give in anyway. I will listen to what you have to say, smile and wish you a good day. I'll defeat you with apathetic kindness, and then go away. We don't negogiate with terrorists, my opinions and I. We're just watching. Just talking when we are certain that something is pitchblack, bad to the core. But as long as you want to convince myself that this green colour over there is actually blue, I stay silent.
© Amelie Albrecht 2021-07-29