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Wildlife (2)

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Mr Truffles the badger leaves his set when he is good and ready. Governed by the time the sun sets he comes out to forage and socialise. He has plenty of time this summer evening before the moon is bright. Beautiful Earth Mamma loves his wiry whiskers and large black nose. His stocky body is covered in grey-white hair and his tail is very short. His dark eyes punctuate his black striped head. When she looks into them she feels a depth of trust and understanding which is pleasing beyond measure. When all were present, supper was served on the deck. The animals nibbled and nudged around, as polite as friends at a dining table. They were treated to a woodland smorgasbord of cereals, fruit, nuts and bulbs then remained together watching the new moon and looking out for shooting stars.

At the local hospital on Ward 1b a hullabaloo has broken out. Dedicated Sister Martha Shaftoe is in the ugly midst of it. She lovingly looks after her patients on the Care of the Elderly ward and does not take kindly to anyone or anything that comes in the way of this. Wednesday afternoons have recently been looked forward to as ‘cream tea day’, possibly more so by the staff, as the patients rarely have insight into which day of the week it is. The ladies from the Womens’ Royal Voluntary Service agreed to provide the ingredients and to serve the treats to the patients. All was going well until the Matron for Infection Control blasted through the ward doors like the coldest wind from Antarctica, and then trouble ensued. The serving ladies stood frozen in time, waiting for the confrontation. When it arrived it was quite brutal. “What’s happening here?” she bellowed. Matron McNally (otherwise known as Matron McNasty) was most definitely on the warpath. The WRVS lady who was of a particularly nervous disposition dropped the plates, leaving a creamy, jammy splatter all over the corridor. She got such a fright that she felt a little bit of urine coursing down her leg. The smashed crockery splintered in all directions. The elderly patients stood as still as statues when the music stopped. “Who has dared to bring these scones in here? The patients will get Campylobacter food poisoning from the cream and if they’ve been made in a dirty kitchen with poor hygiene we’ll have a diarrhoea outbreak to manage, all your fault but my responsibility to deal with, as I’m in charge of all of this!” Her arms gesticulated wildly as her face blushed puce. Matron McNasty was furious! The WRVS lady started crying and rushed off to the toilet, closely followed by the others. "Come on luvvies, let’s get you back to your beds and I’ll put the Perry Como CD on for you. We’ll have a nice cup of tea and a sing-a-long when we’ve settled down,” said Sister Marsha. The ward domestic whistled the tune of Magic Moments and casually cleared up the mess.

© Angela Craddock 2021-08-30


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