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Hopeful - Part 2

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Hopeful - Part 2 |

“I don’t know why it happens. It just crawls up my spine and takes control of my thoughts and feelings. It feels like a tight grip that keeps me from breathing, from thinking, almost from living.”

Hope sat on the windowsill, her eyes focusing on everything and nothing at the same time.

“We have to work on that.”Closing her eyes, she nodded at Charlotte. It wasn’t like she didn’t know that. She felt tense, stressed and she knew that it would only do more damage along the line.

“But how? It just,” Hope paused, her finger tracing a rain drop running down the window, “washes over me. Like an uncontrollable wave and I don’t know how to escape it.”

Silence filled the room for a while, both girls deep in thought.

With a sigh, Charlotte took a chair and moved it over to Hope’s place at the window. Gingerly sitting down, she took her counterpart’s hands into hers.

“Why do you feel like that?”

Tears glistened in Hope’s eyes as she turned towards the blonde.

“I have already lost him once. It wasn’t his fault, I know, but still. I can’t get rid of the fear that it’ll happen again. That one day he will stop talking to me and just vanish into nothingness, leaving me behind. No contact, no nothing.”

Charlotte’s grip on Hope’s hands tightened.

“You have to trust him. You have to trust him when he says that it won’t happen. Has he given you any reason to doubt?”

Brown locks danced as Hope shook her head “no”.

“See. It is all in your head. Sometimes we just have to let go and I know how difficult it is for you, but you have seen how much he cares about you. Everything that he is doing for you.”

“But everyone-”

“Stop!” Hope’s eyes widened at Charlotte’s sudden shout.

“Stop listening to them. They may say they only want the best for you, but can’t you see what they are doing to you? They fill you up with these unnecessary fears. When did you stop trusting yourself? You know what you want! Just stop letting everyone else influence you.”

The tears ran down Hope’s face and she bit her lip. She knew Charlotte was right. None of those other fears had been there in the beginning. It was only after everyone else started to fill her head with words, that she became more and more unsure, her anxiety only getting worse.

“Say it out loud. What is it that you want?”

Taken aback by the blonde’s question, Hope didn’t know what to say, her crying stopping for a moment.

“What do you mean?”

“What is it that you and only you want? Say it.”

Blue eyes stared into brown.

“I want to be happy. With him.”

“Then why aren’t you doing everything in your power to do exactly that?”

Never letting go of Hope’s hand, Charlotte led her towards the bed, sitting her down.

“Stop overthinking, just focus on what you desire, on what you want to achieve and then, with hard work, everything will go well.”

Hope fell back on the bed, her cheeks red, her eyes puffy, but a tiny smile stretched on her face.

© AngelicaJenkins 2022-11-18


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