names i have called myself

after jess janz

i am reflective / selective / affective / protective / i am not what i want to be / not what others think of me / does that mean / i am finally breaking free / i am sorry / i am a little lost / in my thinking / and my feeling / they say it is part of the healing / like the tides / i am always trying to balance both sides / in the irrational hope of being able to cure the world / if only i managed to ensure fairness / and raise awareness / for my head and my heart / allowing myself a new start / that sounds so smart / but is actually tearing me apart / i am just a person / that is burning / and learning / how to say yes / and especially how to say no / even if that means / letting certain people go / i should have done that / already a long time ago / i am searching for stability / and tranquility / in a world filled with fragility / i am living up to my own expectations / because aren’t they the most beautiful destinations ? / i am also relearning how to trust / and how to adjust / since the sun is not visible in dust / i am a giver / a taker / a maker / a student / a teacher / a reacher / a listener / a talker / a casual walker / a winner / a loser and just another internet user / i am an adult / but somehow also a child / almost as if every side / shone equally bright / who knows / maybe they might / i am more than what most people see / how can i define me / i am too much / too little / never enough / and always overthinking stuff / i am elsewhere / i am here / near / and often in constant fear / i am the kind of person / who reads all about the different nations / occasionally makes donations / and likes travelling to film destinations / where i feel like / i am the main character / even though i know i am not / it is just another thought / do they count as fraud / i think i should have sought / sometimes i am mad / sometimes i am sad / i am the song people add / to their playlist / but never really listen to / tell me / will you maybe do ? / i am anyone / everyone / someone / i am drowning in the waters of my writing flow / seeing sorrow / as a way to grow / i may be dead tomorrow / but i am alive today / with the intent to stay