When a Greylag baby goose is born – meaning: when she breaks her egg shell open and steps out into the world, she follows a simple pattern: Whatever moving object she first sets her eyes on, she will identify as her “mother”. No matter whether this moving thing is a goose, a human being or … a soccer ball.
Which brings me to: HUMAN BEINGS. What I just described from the world of animal behaviour is called “imprinting”: The first impression leads to a programmed decision and reaction. The little goose is programmed to act like this.
When you and I meet for the first time, it takes us three seconds. Three seconds, also known as “first impression”. Within three seconds, we form an opinion about the other. A judgment. This is it. This first impression will define our future relationship. IF there is going to be any. There is no second chance for a first impression. So, it better be good! Right?
Which brings me to SPACE. Now guess: Who is the most important person that will ever enter through your entrance door? No, it´s not your friends who come for dinner. Not your boss, not your business partners or clients or neighbours. Or your mother-in-law.
It´s YOU! When you walk through your entrance door, what you see is: YOU.
What DO you see? Do you like what you see? Do you stumble across a pile of dirty shoes? Does the garbage bag greet you, waiting to be disposed of? Is your wardrobe overflowing with winter coats in the midst of summer? Or: Does your home open its arms wide to welcome you? Does it smell nice? Does it provide generous lighting for you to see everything? Is there space for your shopping bags? Are the colours pleasing to your eye? - And so on. What you see is defining you.
In a study carried out by psychologist Samuel Gosling at the University of Texas in 2015, Gosling´s students were confronted with homes of strangers. Then, they were asked to describe the (unknown) homeowners' personality and career as precisely as they could. Their only source of information being the living space of that person. Turned out that the accuracy of their conclusions about total strangers just by analysing their homes was absolutely striking.
So, what do YOU see? Who is the person that you “see” when you enter your space? Remember: Home is where you have total control over your life. Home can bring you down or it can empower and nurture you. This is not a question of budget or style. It simply means: be selective about the objects around you. If anything feels uncomfortable, is broken or ugly or chaotic, or evokes bad memories: do something about it. YES, YOU CAN. Because home is a resource. YOUR resource. Love it, change it or leave it.
If you feel well represented by your space, if you feel that it supports your joyful existence and personal growth: congratulations! If not, you may want to give your own “first impression” a second chance. Uplift yourself. You deserve the best first impression that you can get.
And you ALWAYS deserve a second chance.
© Beate Brigid Schilcher 2021-07-21