It took me years to stop dreaming of holding your hand in the backseat of your car. And I can't help but wonder how many nights you needed to forget about our dreams. And a dream is only a dream because it happens once, leaving no evidence that it happened at all.
So I'll call you a dream in this poem, and don't mistake this for a love poem. I wouldn't call these lines a poem anyway, they are just taking space in my mind, and the fact that we are never gonna be that young again lives in my mind rent free.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the time slip by, because I did. Time moved so slow I almost believed that that summer wasn't going to end, but it did, and you stopped visiting me in my dreams, then sleep started to be more tiring than staying awake all night. Something about your chaos made peace feel so dangerous.
I wish we could be 18 again just to be naive enough to think that we have figured everything out already. I wish if someone told me that everything would be okay, but that is the problem, no matter how "okay" it could ever be,
It wouldn't be better than a dream.
It wouldn't be better than you.
And a dream happens only once.
No matter how long we sleep
We can never live the same dream twice.
© Kamal Alhomsi 2022-11-23