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Emotional Stability

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Emotional Stability |

What do I take from the 4 years with her? Here in simple, summarized words. The quintessence, so to speak.

Strength. Self-awareness. Revealing how limited I am in my horizon. Clarification of how little I think I know about the world. Confrontation with my greatest fears. Phoenix from the ashes. It destroyed me emotionally, my idealistic rose-colored glasses attitudes to life were burned. Out of the ashes rises a new, more conscious me. With insight and understanding that this experience was necessary to not go down in life through self-pity and hopelessness. I am grateful that I was able to live through this experience at her side. The management of my own feelings is now so easy for me compared to four years ago. To deal with it. To be able to deal with all the facets. She forced me through her existence and my insights from it to acquire instruments of self-healing. This happened in such a radical way and at such a rapid pace that it almost resembled the quick ripping off of a plaster.

"A short deep pain, and it was overcome."

No one, absolutely no human being I have met so far, helped me find out as much about myself as this little creature. Not even to begin with. She is like a mirror that shows you all your faults that prevent you from aspiring. In addition, her clear and steadfast values show me how things should be done. My ideals move into the background, her realistic approaches slowly take their place in my life. A lurid process and struggle between:

me, who believes that everything that makes me "me" makes sense,

and me, who listens to her out of justified curiosity and tries to understand her, because I realize that I still can learn from her.

That is interculturality for me, that is what I take up the "burdens" for, to stay with her. But they are not burdens that arise because of her person.They are my own burdens that appear in the mirror she holds up to my face. The acknowledgement and the overcoming is painful but necessary. And this insight helped me to grow.

So why am I still by her side? There is no rational reason for me not to be.

© Luciano Muster 2022-03-23

Der eigene Rucksack


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