I remember when

I remember when

I remember when we were 5.

It was in kindergarten and when Noah opened his lunchbox it was empty. So we all gave him something from our meal. From then on, we were us.

I remember when we were 6.

It was the first time I had friends over for my birthday. You make friends easily when you had just turned 6. You didn’t have a lot of time to screw things up yet.And when we started school, we were excited to have a lot of the same classes.

I remember when we were 10.

When we waited to find out to what middle school we were all going, hoping to attend the same one.I remember when we waited a while to know if Alina would go to the same one and how excited we were when she did.

I remember when we were 12.

When Rosie moved away because her mother got a high end job somewhere else. I remember how heartbroken we were. Back then, boys and girls could be friends and nobody looked at you weird.

I remember when we were 15.

About to start high school. Anxious to go to the same one. Girls suddenly became interesting and Ed couldn’t get his eyes off of May. At that age, it's hard to make friends, so you want to keep those you have. While 15 years isn’t a lot of time to fuck things up, its sure enough to doubt who you are.

I remember when we were 18.

The High school diploma in hand, and a broken heart after burying your childhood inside your chest. I remember the wait for the college acceptance letters. The terrible terrible wait. I remember finding Ed crying on the floor saying, „I’m so scared of growing up“

I remember when we were 20.

We all went to the same college. Local and cheap. Even Rosie, after all those years, was back in our lives. Noah, Ed, Alina, May, Rosie and me.

I remember the parties across the hall. May rejecting Ed to go out with Noah. At what point did friendships turn into love?

I remember last year. When we turned 22.

I remember holding my college diploma in my hand. My name and my major directly underneath. Oliver Mack, Economics. I had spent 4 years of my life here. And 4 years not understanding a single thing about my major but for some reason it was enough to leave college with a paper bearing my name. I remember Noah nearly shedding a tear at graduation. Not because he was going to miss this, but because May had broken up with him hours before.

I remembered last week.

We celebrated Rosie’s and my birthday, which are the same day.

23. We are now 23.

I don’t remember anything from the party. All I have is a blurry image in my head, of the glass in my hand and the people around me. I only remember my splinting headache the next day.