On getting older

Each day I get older and older.

And with each day I cross off in my calendar it feels like I am crossing out another possibility I have had.

Emphasis on the word „had“.

For the first time in my life I feel like I am running out of time. Out of time to do something, be someone, to accomplish anything.

No matter where I look, I always see headlines that read „someone way younger than you did something remarkable!", or something like that. And the age range in which you do stuff that can be considered remarkable is shrinking. Shrinking with every year, every month, every week.

Shrinking with each day, as I get older and older and older.

I am 19, by the way. 19 years old and thinking I am already running out of time. Still a teenager by definition, but out of time.

And for the coming years, that feeling will become worse. Because with each day I will get older and older. And I don't feel prepared for the tasks adults have to do, but I will do them anyway. Until we are all just kids acting our part in an adult world.

Today on the train it felt weird to see the young school kids around me. I was that age once. It not only feels like it was a lifetime ago, it actually was a lifetime ago.

In a few years it will feel like today was a lifetime ago. And I am not ready to say goodbye to my childhood. I am not ready to say goodbye to my teenage-years. I am not ready to be an adult. A proper adult, at the ripe age of 20.

Instead of seeing each passing day as an opportunity I could have had, I should start to see every new day as an opportunity I can have.

Because with each day I am getting older and older. And maybe one day, I will be old enough to understand I am still at the start of something great.

One day I might be old enough to understand I still have time.

Time to do something, be someone, time to have time.