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Letter No.4

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Letter No.4 |

Dearest Sven,

the leaves outside of my window are now completely drenched in gold and yet they don’t shine as beautifully as your eyes do in my memory. You asked for a picture and I’m sending you a small watercolour sketch. A pencil alone can’t capture the glory of it!

I will more than happily accept your invitation! I’ll have to ask my parents for money – the train will be expensive and even though I’ll be raking leaves for the neighbours this year, the money probably won’t be enough. I saved a little, but I was planning to get you a present with that. I’ll ask mother, she is easier to convince when it comes to these things than father is.

Either way, I will definitely come. My parents surely won’t have a problem with me visiting a „friend“. It feels wrong to only grant you that word when I talk to them – not that a friend isn’t worth anything, but you are so much more than that for me. But I can’t imagine they would understand.

You asked if I was really going to read „Pride and Prejudice“ and I’m asking myself if that is supposed to be a joke. The more appropriate question would be how many times I have read it already (for your information, this time is the fourth). I read it for the first time when I was twelve years old and I found my mother’s paperback copy on the shelf. Every time I read it I fall in love anew, but don’t worry, there’s no need for jealousy. The love I feel for books is not comparable to the feelings that move me when I think of you.

Is it too early to speak of love? It’s been two months since I opened my heart to you and we have sent each other so many letters already, but I’m afraid to go a step too far with that word. Not because I’m not certain of my feelings but because I’m scared it could be too fast for you. Or maybe you can’t feel love for somebody so far away.

Sometimes I almost believe I can feel your heartbeat when I’m holding your letters, as if the ink had flown straight from your veins into the paper and was even now set in motion by your agitated heart. And then I ask myself if I’m not feeling too much for somebody so far away from me.

But how could I get to know you better than through the words you write when you are alone with your thoughts and feelings?

I miss you!

With love,


© Severin Buchenau 2022-05-21


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