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Letter No.8

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Letter No.8 | story.one

Dearest Sven,

it’s still raining here, but today that can’t cloud my mood! Your letter has touched and electrified me in a way I can hardly articulate. I promise you, it’s not only because you finally began reading Pride & Prejudice. Isn’t it wonderful? The way Jane Austen describes some characters… I always like to imagine how she sat at her desk and wrote sharp-tongued caricatures of the people surrounding her, with a sly smile on her lips. Of course she knew perfectly well that Mrs. Worthingshireton from the neighbouring village would recognize herself in an unlikeable secondary character, but would never be able to admit it.

That you like my rain sketch so much makes me very happy! Does it now hang next to the other pictures? I must admit, when I saw that you put the many small pictures I sent you on the wall over your bed, I was really touched. Of course I knew you appreciated them, but that they mean so much to you… I admit that since then, I’ve been putting more effort into the sketches and they barely deserve the name „sketch“ anymore. The knowledge that you hang them on your wall is fueling my drive towards perfectionism.

But perfectionism is often so debilitating when painting and drawing. Maybe I should tell myself that you don’t care about my little pictures, that you look at them for a moment and then put them in a drawer where they remain, unseen. Maybe that would relax me a little when I paint.

But what am I saying? The fact that you love my paintings so much invigorates me more than it obstructs. And if I can’t give you all that you deserve, what I would like to give you, then at least I want to put all my heart in the little gifts I can send you.

I have already finished reading Emma and I love it almost as much as Pride & Prejudice. I don’t want to tell you too much, I hope that once you have read Pride & Prejudice you will be as delighted as I was and read Emma next! This afternoon I will finally have the time to go back to the library again. Let’s see what I find today.

Marie is joining me. I told you about her already, I’ve been spending more time with her in the last weeks. She’s so wonderfully different from all the others at school, she seems to be able to just take me as I am, without finding fault in the things that others often mock. Only now do I notice how much I have been lacking in such friendship in the last months.

I’m already looking forward to your next letter so much!

Kisses,

Matthias

© Severin Buchenau 2022-05-21

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