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#queerlove#youngstorytelleraward2022

Letter No.9

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Letter No.9 | story.one

Dearest Sven,

I hope this letter reaches you in time. I put a small watercolour sketch of a candle in the envelope, for the first Sunday of Advent. Over here, every day is grey, cold and windy now, and the first snow fell yesterday. Nevertheless, I’m doing my best to keep my chin up despite the gloomy weather – as always, your letters are helping with that!

Yesterday I went for a walk with Marie, outside in the snow. It was dreadfully cold, but the fresh air die me a lot of good, even though I was thoroughly frozen when I came home and my hair was wet. Marie asked me if there was something on my mind lately and I would have loved to tell her about you! Since it’s gotten cold I’ve been at home more than usual, and even though I enjoy my writing and my books, it does feel somewhat lonely at times. In those moments, I miss you especially. I’ve been thinking whether or not I should tell her about you, at least a little. I could just tell her that you are a friend I met at summer camp and that I miss you. But even if that isn’t really a lie, it would not be the whole truth. And if she believes you are just a friend, she will hardly be able to understand just why I miss you so much. I just don’t know if I can completely confide in her, even if I would really love to do so. Do you also sometimes feel compelled to tell somebody about us?

On Sunday evening I will place a candle on my windowsill. I like the notion that it will shine in the night like a little sign from me, just like the stars we share. And even if you won’t be able to see it of course, I like the thought that you at least know about it.

Maybe we’ll be able to see each other before Christmas once more? I’m already trying to save up for another train ticket. Now that it’s snowing, I might be able to shovel the driveways and sidewalks for the neighbours, maybe that will get me enough. Of course, I would love to invite you to my place as well, if you like! I will have to ask my parents, but they know how often I write to you – at least they think so, in truth they probably don’t even see half the letters I send – I’m sure they won’t be against you coming here for a weekend.

I finished A Room With A View yesterday. The author’s name is E.M. Forster, by the way, not Foster. I found another book of his at the library today. It’s called Maurice and I can’t wait to begin. I will tell you more about it in the next letter.

I hope we will see each other again soon.

In eternal love,

Matthias

© Severin Buchenau 2022-05-21

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