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tired 2.0

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tired 2.0 |

Because sometimes I cry

And I do not even know why

It is just that this sadness has its roots so deep inside of me

That I can not fell this tree without beginning to bleed


It is like you water a flower

each day again and again

Only to find out

it was never meant to blossom in the end


The water just gets heavier

And heavier

And heavier

With each day


Not giving up

While she is fading away


Felling so pathetic

Atlas could carry the whole weight of the sky

While I seem to break under the weight of mine


So I choose to numb the pain with overconsumption

Quite frankly, asking myself if I am not really a terrible person

Laying in my room the whole day

Dreaming of a land far far away


While the walls are coming closer

And my breathing's taking over

Never achieving anything productive

My only talent left is being self-destructive


Punishing the people closest

With the harsh whip of my word

Being alone is what I prefer

But being lonely only makes it worse


Telling myself it gets better

While my room is getting messier

I'm the biggest traitor of them all

I tell people I try to make this sadness smaller

But quite frankly, I find joy in growing it taller


Who would I be

If I never again relate to my favorite sad song?

Having it on repeat

While I cry along


Embracing the whole elegy of this emptiness

My life's a tragedy written by Aeschylus

So I grow this depression greater

After all, I'm its very own creator.


There's just such comfort in self misery

Don't know who else I could be?

Cause while all changes

-space, people and time -


This sadness stays with me deep inside.


Β© Sina Hinrichs 2022-07-07


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