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The void of love

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The void of love |

They haven't talked to one another for one year. One year of angry silence and unsaid accusations. In the first month she only felt fury and mental injuries. In the second month, there was only loneliness and missing him in the third month. From the fourth and fifth months it hadn't mattered anymore, it had only been a far away pain, an old painting that once had been important till time had erased the good.

You wanna hang out? No.

The void that was created through the silence had been filled and replaced. Because that's what her body does, it heals wounds, substitutes for the lost, even though the surface will never be the same as before. Even though she would never give her trust that easily. Then suddenly came the message. I am going to get married. Do you wanna write a speech? Yes she would, because that's what they agreed on at that time/ before, when she tried to be funny and not in love/ lost as he spoke of marriage and a future, not with her but with another woman. It doesn't matter to the new part of herself, but the old part, around the filled void, is hurt. Wedding.

You wanna come over and spend some time alone? What?

Now she needs a speech about a couple she never met together, about a bride she has never seen. About a bridegroom who hasn't been a part of her life/ her thoughts in the past year.

I never met the lucky couple, and I'm sure most of you don't know me. I am no relative and not a close friend. I am just an acquaintance to the groom. Nevertheless, I can say that they found love. And if that comes from a foreign acquaintance, it must be true.

One look at once-known eyes of a warm brown that stirred up lost memories. The strange newness in the void loses its grip.

The first thing he told me about her was how much he missed her when she's not around. How he longs for her, his dream woman, about whom he had known three years prior, that he wants to marry her someday.

What? Can you meet me, me alone? What are you asking me?

They had only been together for a couple of months but he was sure of his love for her. That is true love, finding something familiar in the foreign, that calls to one another and binds them together.

Once-known brown eyes drill into hers. The void becomes new, empty again and fresh, open and hurting because they are calling to her.

You have a girlfriend. You are living together with her. Forget about it, it was a joke.

The two found each other. They found love, despite every adversity, and were able to hold on to it. And that's what i wish them for the future, to hold on to love.

It was a joke. Silence in a hurt void.

Raise your glasses for this loyal, complete and utterly amazing love, that will always be everything. A toast!

Brown eyes, a plea. I wanted you, before her, I wanted you. But now… .

Strange eyes, a known void and a life that continues.

© Vonetta 2022-04-08


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