It is raining. This is my favorite day. Someone says, I will see you on an Esel. I slept a little the day away. Dreemed from the father and dreamed of my mother. I pushed them away due to you and our eternal LOVE. My father once stood behind me and tried to murder me. My mother gave birth to me. I loved her being a woman, her body and her smell. Once in my life I discovered, she is doing, not being. This was the shocking news this life. I took for me a too long time to tell her this live. I tried. Now I know in old state and I have no regret to tell here you were never my mummy, you will be ever my mother. This wall you built for me made from orange rubber like a shimmering plazenta I left long ago. You had never changed to be my plazenta, never ever you had a child. You only handled a problem and did every right for me. Thank you - I miss my mummy so much I never take a mother. Go to hell bastard doing - do what you want. I wish you a long life and health and luck, your money and your enlightenment.
Once I asked you, if you think SHE is not good enough for me - «Do you have a good wife for me? I will take here instead of HERE, get married and IT will give birth to your grandchild! » Mother say NO - with a small voice I haven NON for you.
Rain is sweeping my tears away. Every thing went worng everting I tried was with a blockage engaged. What have I done to this overcomming bustards fucking their own child and life good? What have I done to put the finger on this? What will be with all this harvested love inside you my eternal love? Do you have a clue to this - do you think I could not love you with all your hurts and fears - What do you think - I am stupid, to love a woman like you - You are so lovely, always thinking of the best for others. Do you think, you are not good enough for us, for me, for our childs, being family? What can you think in all this moments of tears and emotions alone in your thoughts. My heart sometimes beats like a drum - what is going on in this moment - tell me what is going on in these moments when we are not together. Are you still the lust objeckt of your father? Are you standing on the roof of a huge building going to wanna fly, again? Or are you only tearing away my love you think you can not deserve? What will I do if something is hurting you? What will be if I have you lost to all this seperation. Still do not know what I will do.
I cut out a basterd I lived twentyone years together. A quarter million are in depot. I can not reach out to this bastard. My car I do not use - neither able to give the licence plate back - this bastard gave the letters and registrations also away. This fucking bastard steal my dog. Now it is four month and seven day I saw my dog in my eye. This bloody damm fucking hore bastard is a weak old IT unable to give birth to anyting than hurt. Why should it not life happy? Why should she suffer? Why should she bother you? Why should she life for ever to understand what she have done betraying good for this children?
YELLOW rain in emotions. Lay you over my heart healing to get her creating our illusion in eteneal together in you♥me
© NoonE With Me 2021-07-08