Does a chamaeleon have a favourite colour?

You’re not dating a woman or a man. You have become their masks.

You are a pile of masks you have been successful in the past with. You are a chameleon who can change his color. You’re feeling like a chameleon in a skittle box. You don’t know who you are and that is okay. You survived being different and colorful in a world of white and gray. How about you learn to shine again? How about you try to understand who you are without thinking on who can judge you? How about you start getting to know yourself despite what others might think or expect of you?

Who are you without the world existing around you? Who do you want to be? What do you like? Or do you like, who are you? Dating is not for you to meet your real self. Dating is for meeting the other person. Of course, you will get to know sides of yourself better while you get to know them better. But the question stays the same – who the fuck are you?

Dating is getting to know another person, what he likes, what he does not like. How to trigger him, how to not trigger him, the ways he arguments, how he eats his foods, how whatsoever. But do you know all this about yourself? How about you fucking start dating yourself like real time this time? Like not jokingly saying, hey, I’m dating myself because it’s funny. No, you don’t date men or women at the moment because you don’t even know yourself. How should you concentrate on the other person if you cannot even be your true authentic self? You are just dating, and becoming the versions you think they would like. So you are not concentrating on who they are, you are concentrating on who you think they would want you to become, they would or can fall in love with.

Your dating motive is to analyze and interpret the other person’s behavior. You only concentrate on who they are and if you would like to become part of their story. Only because you don’t know how it feels to be loved properly for who you are.  You don’t know who you are, because you only had to be a servant. You kind of manipulate people, without knowing you do it, because it’s just like social behavior. Your way into their lives, because you’re used to putting on masks it’s just normal for you like wearing different clothes.

I know his favorite color is red, so you wear a red dress, or like a red mask in this case. So you try to get to know the other person, so you can get to the core of what they want, what they need in a relationship, in a partnership, and so you can mimic this, you can become this. You’re like a shapeshifter. He loves cats, so you become a cat. You put on all the lights from your light chain to show your cat side. But you’re not a cat, you don’t even know what or who you are, you just mimic what you think, as getting to know them better, what they would like in a partnership. You are so desperate for love, you change completely who you are, just to be liked and loved. But who are you? Would you ever dare to say no, or dare to discuss and have another opinion? Would you willingly show them that you’re not able to do stuff they would want or like to have? If you are showing yourself with the risk of losing them, not being able to fulfill their dreams, maybe then you are on the right path.