Chapter 7 – A total waste of time

“And just when I had finally thought I’d gotten the hang of it. When I was feeling like I was king of the world. When the elements and I seemed to be united as one… I fell again.” She laughed out loud at that. “And it wasn’t a graceful fall. It was embarrassing. It was bad. Just bad,” I added, even though she could probably imagine it. “To me, it sounds like a lot of fun,” she countered. “It certainly was for the ducks. I swear to you, they were not holding back. Clearly making fun of me. I think they were really enjoying my humiliating performance.” She shook her head in delight. The smile on her face grew until it almost reached her ears which she had adorned with two huge glittering earrings. All part of her new style. She had traded in the summer dress for a neon yellow romper and decided that more was more when it came to accessories. “I’m glad they were well entertained.” She chuckled. “Yeah right. The bucket list is off the table for me. I’m not doing any more nonsense.” And to emphasise my statement, I crossed my arms in front of my chest and held my head high. Like a toddler refusing to eat his greens. All that was missing was throwing a proper tantrum and I would turn into the 5-year-old I was at heart. “What?! But it sounds like it was a success to me. You have to see the positive side of it. Not only did you try something new, but you also went for a scenic swim,” she tried to explain and change my mind. But I insisted like the mature young man I was, “It was a total waste of time.”

“Yeah? What would you have done instead that would have been such good use of your time?” she retorted.

“Well…”

“Well, I would have crawled into the dark and lonely hole I call my flat and wouldn’t have reappeared all weekend until it was time to go to work again,” she mockingly imitated me. “I know I have absolutely no right to demand anything.” She sighed and slumped a little into her chair, “But I still demand you carry on. For your own sake.” At that, I only rolled my eyes. Sure, for my sake. Not for her entertainment at all.

“Anyway, you know, you should really be eternally grateful to me. Creating this bucket list was no easy feat. It was a real challenge,” she said while crossing her arms in front of her chest and shooting me an almost sulky look before she continued, “I kept thinking: Uh, I’d do this. And then a second later I’d think: Nope, he doesn’t have the balls for that.” I choked on my breath at that. “Really? Seriously? That’s how you want to play it? I’ll have you know that I’m a devout feminist. If you want to insult me, leave my balls out of it. They don’t determine what someone can or can’t do. Except if you count their function as human reproductive organ.”

“Thanks for mansplaining basic human anatomy to me,” she replied sarcastically. “I wasn’t… whatever.” My gaze flickered away, and silence stretched between us.

Was she kind of annoying? Yes. Did that kind of excite me? Yes. Was it kind of fun to do something other than sleep and sulk on my weekend? Maybe. So, I inhaled a deep breath before I grumbled, “So… what’s next on that stupid list of yours?”