get to know and find yourself

This page is dedicated to those who struggle to find themselves.

These are some tips from an 18-year-old girl (aka me), who may have some good advice up her sleeve.

Nr1. Spend time alone (on purpose!) go on a long walk or sit in a café or take yourself on a picknick and think about the things YOU want in life, and the things YOU don’t want. When we don’t spend a certain amount of time by ourselves, we will not be able to form our own opinions and values without being subconsciously influenced by the people around us. And the problem is, you may not notice that you are getting influenced by your surroundings. This will form as a huge problem in the future, resulting in an unfulfilled life because you don’t take the time to get to know yourself, but rather mirror and adapt the personalities and behaviors of others.

Nr2. Try out different things: there is a huge range of music, fashion, hobbies, activities, styles and career paths to choose from. What’s best for you doesn’t find you. You have to search for it, and it might take some time, but you will have guaranteed answers. And if that is not the case, and you feel like nothing fits you or truly represents you, then you can always create it. The bottom line is, don’t only focus on the things you know, try to look for answers to the things you don’t know anything about.

Nr3. Have Patience (that’s a big one!): this process of trying to get to know or even find yourself can take YEARS. It’s a slow-burn, high-stake, high-reward journey. And you cannot speed up the process to your desired destination just like any other thing. Just like you can’t force a flower to bloom before its time or the development won’t be genuine, which will also leave you unsatisfied. This journey might even last a lifetime – atleast it does for a lot of people. We, as humans, are constantly developing and changing, which is just the way of life and, due to that, it might take even longer and, like…. said, we are a million different people from one day to the next. don’t only eye the finish line but enjoy the race.

Nr4. Stop.People.Pleasing: if you live your life trying to make others feel seen, heard and validated without putting your own needs first, you will not find your true authentic self and instead live through others. In my opinion, if you go against your values and feelings to please others, you are automatically cheating on yourself. You are not only supposed to be loyal to your family, friends and romantic partner, but you, most importantly, should be loyal to yourself. People-pleasing is only going to get you so far, until they betray you and leave you, and now it’s just you, so if you’re not loyal to yourself, how do you expect others to be loyal to you?

P.S. staying true to yourself is the most difficult thing to do with the highest reward you could ever receive.