LOVE

Love. Love is something that can make you the happiest person ever, but at the same time, it can break your heart into a thousand pieces. It can destroy you. It is brutal but the best feeling at the same time. This dumb little feeling destroyed everything. It destroys everything so damn often. When you love someone, you are weak. You’re vulnerable. You lose control. That’s the worst thing, I think. I know how hard it is to realise what real love is. Especially as a teenager. You can easily mix up what’s love and what’s obsession. That’s a real struggle as a young girl. You don’t know if it’s normal. If it SHOULD happen. I know what I’m talking about. It happened often to me and I had to go through it all on my own. It was Aiden…we were in a relationship. But believe me, when I say that it didn’t end well. I know that many of you want to know what happened, so you’ll get what you ask for.

*Flashback*

„Why do you always make everything so f*cking difficult?!“ he said, refusing to face me. There were tears in both of my eyes, but neither of us dared to look at each other. „You are the insecure one!“ I said without looking at him. „I am insecure?“ I could easily hear an angry tone in his voice. „I am insecure?!“ he repeats, yelling this time. „Yes,“ I said in a soft voice. „Oh, go f*ck yourself.“ he said and quickly stepped away from me.

He has been weird in the last weeks. He was cold…distant…that was so different to his normal behavior…

Today was another day when he was weird.

He shouted at me. „You know what? I lied!“

I looked at him confused. What did he mean now?

„I never loved you. It was always a dare, a dare where you had to fall in love with me. Nothing was real. I just wanted to prove my brother wrong and show him that I can make anyone fall for me.“

My eyes started to sting as a tear rolled down my cheek. How could he? I ran to the nearest bag I could find, grabbed his stuff, his shirts and put everything in the bag. When everything was inside, I gave him the bag and looked angrily at him. „F*ck you and now leave my house.“

„Oh believe me, I’m definitely going to do that with pleasure.“ he said before he turned around, opened the door and left my house. I slowly let myself sink down the wall and could clearly feel how tears began to run down my cheeks. How could he?! He lied about everything…I heard steps behind me and thought he was coming back, so I quickly turned around, but it wasn’t Aiden who was standing in the door frame. It was his brother. He came to me and pulled me into a hug. He didn’t leave my side.

He held me tight and only whispered things like “It’s going to be okay.” or “Calm down, I’m with you.”

While his brother left me on my own, crying and with my feelings overflowing, his brother was there for me, listened to my crying and was there for me.

„Why did he do this to me“, I cried with my voice breaking.

„Calm down. I’m here for you. I’m never going to leave you.“

Back then, this was more than I could have ever asked for. I felt safe. But every good thing has to come to an end sooner or later, doesn’t it?