One Last Love Letter

I always thought you were gonna be my forever. The one person i randomly met who just appeared to be everything i ever wanted. I thought we were going to grow old together, go to university, marry and someday get kids and be a family. I really thought it was going to be you.
With every „I love you“ i fell even harder and with every second passing i felt even more love for you. I did everything that was possible for me to do to make you happy, to make you want me just as much.
But you can’t force people to feel a certain way. Even though you said you loved me more than anyone, even when you called me the „love of your life“, you still left me. You left me just like everyone does. You left me to fight for myself, to cry myself to sleep.
Where my heart once was is now a burning hole, swallowing me every moment i’m not busy. I have to distract myself everyday from thinking about you, about us, because if i start i can’t stop.
And now after you’ve left me you became a whole different person. You broke your word, one thing you swore to never do. You lied to me, even though you expect everyone else to always be honest because „honesty lives the longest“.
I don’t recognise you anymore from the way you act now. But sometimes i find myself wondering if you’re ever coming back to apologise, to try to win me back. And then I ask myself: What would I do?
The rational part of my brain tells me to leave you in the past, to forget you and never look back because you hurt me more than anyone or anything ever did. After you broke up with me i became a shallow and broken version of myself.
But the emotional side of my brain wants to take you back, no matter how much your actions and words hurt me and no matter how many things you did wrong, because i love you and i always will. And i miss you, so much, i never thought i was able to feel those feelings in such an extreme way, but here i am, mourning over you while you act like you don’t notice my absence.
And i’m not sure if i’m able to let you go just yet because i was so sure there was more to our story than just that.
I’m not sure if i’ll ever be able to let go.

Lots of love, 
the girl you told you’d marry her one day.