schmerz

everyone that left my life,
moving on with claw marks on their skin,
I couldn’t let them go without a fight,
just wanted to get their attention,
hold on a little longer before they go,
to the love and warmth they gave me,
now I keep asking myself,
how could they leave me.

your mama’s crying

your mama’s crying,
it feels like you’re dying, 
laying in the cold,
gives you her hand to hold; so shivery and old,
her wrinkled body collapsed next to you,
she keeps screaming “i didn’t have a clue”,
how bad it got; how bad you felt,
she didn’t care yesterday when she yelled,
at you because you didn’t listen,
now she’s lying next to you missing,
the old times,
when your lives still rhymed,
a rhythm you both were fluent in,
“mama please tell me my death’s not a sin.”

changed

your face has changed
and your body looks different now
your hands aren’t drawing flowers anymore; they’re full of dirt
your fingernails not painted but uneven and bloody
your hair once shiny; glowing in the sun
now black and greasy falling into your face
your wrists not covered in bracelets but scars 
you’ve changed since the last time i saw you only yesterday it seems