What if

You’ve always been a jerk to women, and most definitely you’ve been to me. There are not even many occasions that we’ve spoken, yet you took every chance we had to see each other at work during breaks or at the end of shifts. Is it one of your favorite gifts?

One told me you’re nothing more than a giant joke yourself. Another said you’re more than everything you say out loud. I later believed the second one, but always tried to keep it to myself. I mean, why should I defend someone who insults me all the time, even though insulting is not even considered a crime?

I guess I just tried to fit in, since I was new, and you were beloved by many others. I thought that you would just try to get under my skin, but I hoped to make some friends if I had my druthers. So I ignored you and let you do your thing. After all, it was just a small sting.

And actually, eventually you left me alone. You turned yourself to other new women and said the same to them. With that, I thought I knew that this was just your zone. I’m nothing special, not some valuable gem. At least I thought so until you called me late at night. Even though I don’t know whom you called before and how I got in your sight.

That night something happened between us, and I still don’t know why. Maybe because you were drunk, but that’s not here to discuss. But if I said I didn’t want it, I would lie. You never told me anything before, but that night on the floor…

What if you asked me out later? I really don’t know what I’d answer. Maybe many things could now be greater, but I think you couldn’t handle me as a romancer. A few weeks later, I got to know my current boyfriend, which brought everything between us to an end.

And now it’s not like I regret anything, because I truly love my man right now. But what if you had done something? Would everything be the same right now? Because I see the regret in your eyes, every time it’s on me where your gaze lies.

I’m just curious about what could have been, and maybe I might even miss you a bit. I’m even a little jealous every time you grin, and that smile is for some other girl. So what if you asked me out later, you ask? I have to admit, I guess I would have said Yes…