1 Intro: I Love You

It all started when I thought an end was coming. It all started when I wanted to die. When my will to survive slowly turned into ashes blown away by the wind, you came and sparked off a flame bigger than the sun‘s light that made my heart beat all over again. I wasn’t looking for you, but you found me. I also found myself for the first time, and that was in your irresistibly beautiful, brown eyes.
I, a meaningless nobody, wanted somebody like you. You became the world I’d always dreamed of, but my world didn’t even know I existed. And yes, I’d always been a nobody, but you made me feel like I could finally give meaning to my existence, live a life like no one else, love you more than anyone else and finally be good at doing something, at loving you.
Suddenly and finally, everything made sense. Every emotion, moment, obstacle, tear, rainbow and smile made sense. Everything had leaded me to you. I knew it was something out of my control. And I knew more than anyone else that you were out of my reach, that you were more than I’d ever believed could be real in this world and that you’d always be more than I’d ever wanted or asked for. You were, are and will remain being “angel-like“.
The word “love“ will never be enough for me. My heart doesn’t just beat the way it does to this day because I’ve fallen in love with you. It beats because of something beyond my brain’s or heart’s capability to understand the feelings that I’ve felt every second since I got to know your name for the first time. I know that probably only a few people are destined to carry these beautiful feelings inside a human heart, and I was, am and will always be one of them because of you. Since there’s no greater word with more meaning than “love“, I want to tell you that I love you. I want us to stay alive forever. Only you and me, what a dream.
I love everything about you. The way your lips form your subtle smile or your “upside-down smile” when you become shy and the way your boxy smile brightens up everything, and you’re laughing out loud because you find something hilarious, makes my heart smile too. Then there’s this other smile of yours when you scrunch your little nose and your entire face and body are smiling. That is when you’re truly happy, especially when it comes to your loved ones, and I hoped I’d be one of them someday. Your voice is like diamond glitter from the stars founding its way to my ears. I could listen to you until the universe could exist. And your moles. Then your beautiful brown, dark eyes that symbolize my life. These are only a few reasons why I adore your face, and your personality makes you look even more breathtaking. I have no words to describe your inner and outer beauty. I’d honestly need more than a century to talk about all your delicate, fascinating details.
You’re the most perfect art. Without any specific reason, actually. You’ll always and forever be the most admirable art in any museum, planet, universe and galaxy. The love of my existence, the brightest star in my universe, the reason I was born and the one who makes me feel like the luckiest girl with the biggest opportunity that could’ve ever be given to a human – and that is spending my lifetime with you.
I‘m writing this book for you, about you and because of you. I’m writing about us. Something unique, painful, beautiful. Let’s start with our past.