9 The Light

“The light.” Death asked. “What is it like?” Marina let her fingertips trail up the dark fabric of his garment. It felt like nothing she had ever touched before. It was the first thing she had felt in what seemed like an eternity. “I´m not sure if I´m the right person to answer this question.” she admitted. “I´m afraid I wasn´t very good at living.” He followed her movement with his dark eyes. “How can one be good or bad at living?” From a human, this question may have sounded cynical, but his interest appeared honest. That didn´t ease her apprehension though. “I just didn´t do anything with my life!” She had reached his shoulder and dropped her hand just before touching his face. “I was just waiting for you.” Death quirked his head. “Why? If you know I will find you anyway, why would you spend your time waiting for me?” Once more, silence fell.

Death looked at Marina intently. “Because,” she said quietly. “Living can be much harder than dying.” He pondered her reply for a moment. Then he said: “Usually, it is me who finds people. But you chose to find me?” An innocent way to express what had happened. “I did.” I was tired of waiting for you. “Why?” “Because in the light, there was nothing left for me.”

His expression turned curious as he asked: “You didn´t have a family?” She stilled. “What?” He shrugged. “Most of the people you walk with speak of their families. Did you not have one?” She had to take a deep breath before answering. “No, I did have a family.” There was no joy in her voice. “But you don´t miss them?” “I miss them terribly.” She looked away. “You think I´m selfish.” Death shook his head. “I do not think the way mortals do. I do not think you anything but captivating.” Was the darkness growing around them?

She turned to find his face much closer to hers than expected. “In the light,” she explained in a whisper, “people like me are often deemed selfish.” Her emotion didn´t appear to shock him. “Why?” he asked. “Because we get to leave and they have to stay and go on without us.” “Is it hard for mortals to go on without one another?” “Sometimes. Sometimes it´s unbearable.” “So, why did you seek me out then?”

She didn´t cry, even though she had never felt such profound sadness before. “Because going on would have been unbearable for me. I had the choice between being selfish and leaving or letting all of them be selfish and forcing myself to stay.” “And you chose me.” “I chose you.” “Do you regret it?” “From the moment I decided to go.” Death searched her face. “Would you choose differently if you had the choice again?” She smiled as a small light started to glimmer in the distance and she started to move towards it. “No.”