Chapter 3

I was standing in front of my closet. What do you wear to karaoke? Probably just something normal, but what kind of normal? I looked at the pile of white T-Shirts, then at the smaller one with the unicolored ones. Color or not? I sighed and went with a white one as always. Sometimes I asked myself why I even owned colorful shirts if I never wore them.

When I arrived at the karaoke bar, my friends and Paula were already waiting, chatting, laughing. That’s just the kind of girl Paula was, in her two different socks, yellow shirt and blue skirt. “Marie!” They waved at me. We had chosen the late afternoon for our session as it wouldn’t be so crowded then. Of course that had been my idea. The less people there, the less people to hear. The bar inside was dimly lit and we got a table directly in front of the stage. Of course that had been Paula’s idea. We ordered drinks and chatted while I desperately hoped they would forget about singing. “Who wants to start?”, Jess asked. I kept my mouth shut. “I want to!” Paula jumped up from her chair and onto the stage. She chose a song and grabbed the microphone. For a moment, I thought Layla had rolled her eyes, but when I looked at her, she just smiled. “Ladies and gentlemen, friends and foes, for my first performance today I, Paula, chose ‘Tik Tok’ by Kesha.” I buried my face in my hands and peeked between my fingers. But she nailed it, not really as a singer, but as a performer. The sassy look on her face, the movements of her hands, the cheers of the crowd. When she came back, everyone applauded and laughed. “That was … amazing!”, Jess said, patting her shoulder. Paula was panting from exhaustion, no wonder after she had been jumping around the whole stage, but she smiled. We watched a few other performances and my friends also took their turns singing. “It’s getting late and I’m hungry. How about we call it a day and grab a bite somewhere?” It had been fun watching and I really enjoyed the afternoon, until…

“But Marie didn’t sing.” I cursed internally. It had gone so well up to now. “I don’t mind. I don’t have to sing, really, let’s just go.” Somehow I knew this wouldn’t work. “That’s not fair. You can’t just watch us and then don’t do it yourself.” I flinched, then glanced at the stage. I would just embarrass myself. Everyone did in some way, but I couldn’t think of it as fun, just a big humiliation in front of strangers. I should have just declined this whole idea in the first place. Damn you, brother. They all stared at me. Just my friends, but it felt like the whole room was watching. What should I sing? I do know some lyrics, but no whole song. And I can’t read that fast either. What if I had a complete blackout? Standing there doing nothing was even worse than getting wrong tones. I looked at Paula, who had sung about five songs today, hoping she’d just do another one instead. She didn’t. Then she smiled and that made me anxious. “I’ve got an idea.” I sank deeper into my chair. “How about a duet? We could sing together.” I raised up. “I… well… We could”, I stammered. “Then let’s go, you choose the song.” Before I could say anything she grabbed my hand and dragged me onto the stage. Everything that followed was half a disaster. I chose a song but forgot the lyrics halfway through, Paula sang my part and I just played second voice throughout the chorus, missed almost every note and in the end I stumbled as I walked down the stairs. Paula then turned to me and said: “You did it!” And I smiled. “Yes, I did.”