How we Unraveled

I only exist in memories now. But you still visit me, don’t you?

How strangers turned into lovers, and lovers into nothing.

I remember how we met: your soft voice, your quiet laughter,the glint in your eyes.

The way happiness radiated from you like sunlight. How contagious it was. How featherlight it made me feel.

Invincible, even.

As if nothing else mattered, just the two of us.

As if the world stopped spinning, and we were suspended in our little bubble – safe and untouched.

Those long days and longer nights, filled with laughter and talking…They still live in me.

I’m fond of these memories. But I’ve locked them away. Tucked deep in the corners of my heart, where even I hesitate to go to. Because if I do, I might not come back the same.

I only visit the beginning. The light. The warmth.I don’t go near the ugly parts. The shame. The anger. The helplessness.

The way everything faded. The way I felt it slipping through my fingers, no matter how tightly I tried to hold on.

You made me feel seen. And I hated that. Because if you saw me, you’d see everything.

Maybe you saw it coming. Maybe you felt it long before I did. That I was already tearing holes in something beautiful.

I kept pushing you away, waiting for you to leave, until.. you finally did. But it wasn’t your fault.

You asked me once,

“Do you even want this?”

And I said nothing.

Not because I didn’t.

But because the answer terrified me.

I broke us with silence.

And the demons in my head.

And if I could say one thing?

I did want it.

I just didn’t know how to keep it.