The Flashback

I see Rocklyn in her room crying. I wish I could be able to just hug her, ask her what’s wrong, help her with her struggle and slap the one that is responsible for her tears.
I feel some sort of hurt, though nothing hurts when you die. Guess I was wrong again.

“Stop acting like a bitch”, shouts Eric at me.
“Wow, so me not wanting to do anything with your drug-addicted friends means that I’m acting like a bitch, right?” I fired back at him.
“Why can’t you just be like most of the other girls we go with, like Lisy. She’s coming with us”, he says with a little softer voice, looking at her.
“No, can’t you understand? I don’t want anything to do with drugs and whatever shit you guys do”, I say, not believing that he can’t just accept that I don’t want anything to do with drugs and anything related to them.
“Just let her be the best little student in the class who is always reading or with her little friends”, whispers Licy, like I am not there hearing them.
“You know what, I can’t have a relationship with two others, so guess I just have to choose between two, and I choose Licy.”
“What does that mean?”
“Exactly what you heard, that’s always what you are doing, acting like you are stupid. We both know that you are smarter than that, so act like someone who is smart”, he shoots with a high voice.

Okay, this is just wow.
I look at him, not even wanting to give him what he wants and what he wants is me asking what’s wrong and begging him. That’s not going to happen.
“So sweaty, what he is trying to tell you is that he is breaking up with you, he has been cheating on you for eight months now, and, of course, he is choosing me over you.” The only words which are stuck in my mind right now are; cheating for eight months.
The break-up thing is not a big deal. To be fair, I wanted to have a conversation with him, so that maybe we should break up. But wow, cheating is just something else, he could have just told me that he likes someone else.
We have been together for more than three years now, being honest with each other would be like soap for washing hands, something normal and obvious.

I try to pull myself together and give him and his group a smile. Why does he need all his friends and her friends here? Never mind, you can do this. Don’t cry, Claire. Someone like him doesn’t deserve your tears.
After being sure that my voice is not going to betray me, I say: “Oh I see, I understand, but I didn’t know that cheating is an easier way than talking with each other”. Without waiting for their reactions and responses, I turn around, and a lie slips from my lips: “Have to go, have a meet-up with my friends, see you around”.
Running down the stairs and trying not to cry till I’m at home safe in my bed, I hear footsteps behind me, but I don’t turn. I’m sure it’s them behind me, so I try to pull myself together. Before I get time to think about anything else, someone pushes me off the stairs.
And everything goes black. This flashback leaves me to them, thinking that it was them. But who else would it be? Was it Licy who pushed me? But she already had him, right? Or was it him? And there is the problem. Why would he? He had already broken up with me.