Who thought the room in my new home would be so small that the maids would have to pack all my belongings into two little bags and one slightly bigger wooden box.
„And what am I supposed to wear?“, I ask, my father frowns. It is a wonder his face is not wrinkly from frowning all morning.
„I’m sure the Prince will provide you with everything you could ever need.“ He spits out as if he is not even interested in what happens to me.
“What if he does not care?” Father simply rolls his eyes. Something he has been doing since I was young. A dismissive, ignorant gesture to push aside any complaint, any argument, any word of mine that does not please him.
“He will care. Do you think he will let his wife run around naked? Besides, he will not let you wear any of your old blue dresses. You will wear his kingdom’s colour. Red.” Right. Soon I will only wear red, showcasing to the four kingdoms that I am his property. My throat closes and I lose my voice. Even though I want to say more, I can not. It is too much. Everything is too much.
I silently watch the maids who are loading everything into the carriage. The wind is cold. It is pulling at me, my dress, my hair, almost like begging me to go. My future is the Prince of Alethon. To strengthen his empire and ours. My father made that very clear.
“It’s your duty.”, he repeats for the hundredth time. His voice stays calm, but his face speaks a different language, wrinkles still stretch across his face. I see the cold in his eyes. I just stand there. Gritted teeth, stiff limbs, teary eyes. The only thing I manage to do is hold my head up high. I will not let him see how I lost my voice yet again. I will not let anybody see.
However, Carina notices the change in me. My sister’s small hand settles on my shoulder. Too afraid to upset father, she does not say anything. But I am still grateful she is here with me and I know she will not leave. A little part of her is happy I finally have a fiancĂ©. Unlike her, I never had many suitors. A fact that never bothered me, but seemed to have an effect on her since she was sixteen. Which was two years go. Two years of having to sit back and hope for me to get married, so she can finally accept foreign ladies and gentlemen’s proposals. Too bad that not many royal suitors are interested in a twenty-year-old Princess, who is taller than them and would rather spend the rest of her days in the gardens of the palace, instead of attending negotiations.
“Perfect timing.”, father says. I turn around just in time to see a woman in shining armour approaching us. She seems familiar, but I can’t place where or when exactly I’ve seen her before. Instead of facing my father as he continues, I keep looking at the woman. “This is Knight Alexandra. She will take you to Alethon and be the Corporal of your guard once you reach the palace.” Alexandra. Now I see the similarity to the girl I once knew. She is just a grown, less smiling version of herself.
“Her skills are impressive”, he continues without noticing that I’m not listening to him. Not really. “For a bastard.”
She is close enough to hear what father says. I expect a reaction, a flinch, a flicker of pain in her eyes. But nothing. The word is not directed at me, still my heart clenches. Not for me, but for her. The woman responsible for me. The woman who’ll lead me to the awful rest of my life. The woman who was my anchor as a child. The woman who I wanted to kiss since the day she walked away from me, five years ago.
© Alena Nicolopoulos 2023-09-01