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Sahriah Ingratubun

by Sahriah Ingratubun

Story

16.08. 2016

Alright, holy crap. My ability to read people is nowhere near where I initially thought it was. You’d think that after all these years, after all the people I’ve met, after all the changes I’ve adapted to, I’d have somewhat figured out how people work by now, but I was wrong. I mean, I wasn’t just wrong, I was off by the longest of longshots. After Aron’s story, I also remembered a moment from the Four Seasons evening that I had repressed.

Tom had tried to hit on me. Make a move, if you will.

I had rebuffed him obviously because, luckily, I had been sober enough to still make decisions for myself. Of course, my rejecting his advances came unexpectedly to him. It’s like these men are purposefully unwilling to assess the situation correctly enough to know whether or not someone is interested in them. The incompetence is sometimes astounding. He also knew about what had happened between Caleb and me, yet still, he thought he’d try his luck. Fucking hell.

A bit miffed, but pseudo-understanding he had given in. The German-Indonesian actor had also revealed an ugly grimace when I rejected his attempt to kiss me. Having been intoxicated for the whole evening, these moments had been completely locked away in my subconscious.

Tom, who I thought was one of the most interesting people I had ever met, is actually a self-centered, no-good asshole who preys on drunk girls? Who would have thought.

Maybe the lack of parental love and the fact that he wasn’t raised by them has somewhat limited his sense of empathy and decency. Or maybe it’s just his way of talking to everyone that masks his true intentions. Yes, we found each other on Tinder, but I told him the first day we talked that I don’t use Tinder to sleep with people but to merely expand my circles. I thought he had understood that, but now, in hindsight, I know he only wanted to meet me because he thought it might give him another chance at “happiness”.

I hate it here.

Ladies and gentlemen,

have you ever met a group of people that you thought you got along with well, but the only reason they spend time with you is because one of them wants only that one certain thing from you? You have not? Well, I have. It fucking sucks. Yeah yeah, I know, I sound like a whiny teenager who is experiencing things not going her way. I guess it’s better to deal with something like this now at 18 than to have it come too late someday.

© Sahriah Ingratubun 2023-01-29