by Lara Giulia
It is at night when the darkness comes and the silence spreads.
That unsettling feeling of not arriving home.
Not belonging.
I don’t belong to the night, neither to the darkness, nor the silence.
There is no peaceful goodbye to the day.
Although we walked through the light and filled the silence as much as possible, it wasn’t enough. The silence of the night is so loud.
Destructively loud.
It screams at me through every gate that I tried closing.
Shoving away.
Taping shut.
All days work
— for nothing.
Darkness weighs on me like a blanket but leaves me cold and empty.
Unable to find comfort and shelter.
There is no getting away from the banging noise of nothing.
My eyes pressed shut to see the shadows of my inner demons dancing.
My ears covered to hear the empty threats of my enemy
— myself.
Rise and shine, as the sunrays push themselves through my window blinds.
The light is beaming and destroying all remains of last night.
New dawn.
New start.
But at what gain is all this light when it only temporarily saves me from the pain?
The darkness can only truly survive away from the light.
Light will pretend there has never been darkness.
But one cannot exist without the other.
© Lara Giulia 2023-08-22