3 – Lyssa

Lyssa tried to trace the boy she had known as a child in the man she saw before her now. Was his brown hair a touch lighter than it had been? He definitely had not been this tall or muscular, but his brown eyes still managed to project that balance of kindness and daring that had gotten them in and out of mischief so easily. Right now, however, they were looking at her with weariness.
“Basi…”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Right. I apologise. Your Majesty”, he said mockingly.
She rolled her eyes. “Not what I meant. It’s Lyssa now.”
“Why?”
Because even if no one dared acknowledge it, there was a before and an after her mother died, and this was her only way to express it. “I like it better”, she stated simply.
For once, Rylan had no comeback, and she wondered whether he understood the real reason even without her putting it into words. His gaze wandered the room, clearly looking for a change of topic, a chance to make a light comment, but, though the room was meant to impress, it was bare of any personality. “What do you want me to mend?”, he finally asked.
Lyssa hesitated. It was hard to put into words. Hard to admit. What if he went around telling people about this? Would they believe her if she denied it? For once, she was glad about his social disgrace, and she felt immediately guilty about that. She could say she had changed her mind and tell him to leave. But she did not want him to.
“I have been told I have somewhat of a temper”, she explained haltingly. “I’ll be fine and rational and relaxed and then someone will say something, and it might just be a specific word, but I will lose all sense of myself. I will get angry. Or sad. And in that moment, it is everything I know. I feel so much – I can’t think.” She could feel her emotions rising even now, and she was afraid his reaction would prove her words true. She did not wish for him to see her like that, but she was becoming desperate. “I’m queen. I need to be able to think, not just react.”
He considered her seriously, then said, “I’m sorry. I can’t help you.”
Lyssa frowned, teetering on the brink of an abyss. “Why? Because my father sent your father away?”
Rylan stiffened. “My father did not deserve to be banished from court. But that’s not the reason.”
“He didn’t”, She agreed, hoping to change his mind. Deep down, however, she wasn’t so sure. Shouldn’t the royal physician have noticed that something was wrong? Surely someone did. Yet, no one had intervened.
“I’m sorry Basi… Lyssa. I cannot do what you are asking of me. “
Inwardly, she wavered. Anger and hurt washed over her. “You don’t want to, you mean.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“I am your queen.” Her voice hardened. “Should you not want your monarch to be mentally well?”
Rylan shook his head. “You want me to make your emotions go away. I can’t do that. Even if I could, I wouldn’t.”
Was he doing this for revenge? Or did he truly believe she was beyond help?
“You mistake me, again”, she informed him haughtily. “That wasn’t a question. Nor was it an offer.” Lyssa summoned all the cold authority she had feared in her father. “You will treat me.”
She hated his sad smile.