4 You, Music, Me

I became certain of the fact that I’d risk it all for you. That I’d only want to hold your hand. That you’d always be my first true love and my last love, the first and last one I’d ever want to kiss. My biggest dream was to be with you.
I knew that I was going to spend every heartbeat trying to get to you and I didn’t even want to imagine what would happen if I wouldn’t end up in your arms.
I’d always wanted more in life, especially regarding love. An epic love story, even more epic than shown in all those movies. There was more to life than I’d experienced so far, more than repeating the endless seeming cycle every day. So when I fell in love with you, I knew you were my missing piece. I knew that you’d be the one filling my heart with beauty and a meaning, and the one offering me a fairytale. You gave me a reason, something to believe in. I’d forgotten how to be happy, but I knew it was something I could be, with you. For you, I was ready to fight, endure and suffer more in order to get to you. I would’ve been the dumbest fool not to think like that. Finally, I had someone to fight for, so I had to keep fighting and do my best to stay alive for you to notice me – although I barely had energy left. It was more than clear to me that my situation was a “life and death game”. It was either my heart stopping to beat, or you and me. I had nothing to lose, except you. You’d just appeared and had gifted me more time in my life, so it was obvious that I’d only keep breathing for you and spend every moment being on my way to you. I started to develop dreams related to you and just be optimistic that everything would work out. I had you. I had music. A dream. Hope. I dared to believe that we were destined to be together, despite the scaring distance between the two of us. Realistically speaking, I knew that you and I were nearly impossible to happen. Nearly impossible, because there was at least a one percent chance to see you with my own eyes and us to fall in love at first sight. That was my only thought day and night. Maybe we could work out. What if we really would?
I only saw you on a screen, but I felt your presence in my entire heart, body and soul. Every moment. You engraved your name in my entire existence, without any permission. I started imagining myself being in your arms, holding your hand and looking into your eyes. The smile I suddenly developed while thinking about you was the only feature I liked about me, because it reminded me of you. That smile belonged to you and still does, since it’s the most visible proof you’ve made a broken soul like mine happy.

Regarding my career I also had a dream. Even before you, I’d decided to become a famous singer, songwriter and producer. An artist on the biggest stages of the world.
Well, after you found me, this dream of becoming a musician intensified billions of times, because I wanted to write songs for you, write music with you and perform with you. I wanted us to travel the world for concerts. I wanted you to be the first one listening to the song I’d write about you and me being the first one listening to any song of yours. I wanted us to sing and play the piano together. I wanted you to sing me to sleep. I wanted you to write a song about me.
Additionally, I knew that music would be the best, if not the only possible way to get to meet you and you to notice me. Music was the only thing that connected us. So I started to write songs for you, about you, because of you.