by Alina Kurpel
December has passed—all applications were over. The biggest and most significant work was done. Now, only waiting remains. I received a few rejections, but I never lost hope.
I was working on a social media video in a small, windowless office at the TV channel’s online editorial department when the email from the last scholarship arrived. My heart started racing, and hands trembled slightly as I opened it. My gaze jumped chaotically from line to line:
“We formally notify you that you have been selected.”
Really? For what?
“You can participate in the course on a self-paying basis. We regret to inform you that your application has not been selected for the scholarship.”
I could not see any further, tears blurred my eyes. It felt like the end. How many more could I bear at twenty-three?
I lost my purpose. I went to work and back home. The sequence of life was completely broken. I graduated and had no assignments, no motivations, and no CVs. I completed everything and had no idea what to do in the evenings. There was no need for anything anymore.
Sometimes I met with friends, mostly to cry. I poured streams of bitter tears on them in search of support and a desire to hear once again that everything would be fine.
— Can you imagine how hard I worked?
— It’s okay, you’ll definitely get in next year!
— Next year?
— Of course. You don’t have to take the language test anymore, which means less preparation, less work.
— Actually, you are right. I can apply for even more scholarships.
— Sure, and not only in Europe.
— Alright then! Here is the plan.
© Alina Kurpel 2023-08-29