by Elena Beste
I was cutting some onions for dinner, when she asked me what I thought love was. „ I still haven’t figured it out yet.“ I said. She grabbed a chair from the living room and positioned herself in front of me. She wasn’t satisfied with my answer. She wanted to know more.
“Why don’t you tell me” I said, “What do you think love is?” After a few minutes, she answered with a dramatic voice „Love is excitement”. Her eyes twinkled with excitement. I was a hopeless romantic at that time. “Yes, it is” I stood up and threw the onions inside the pan. “For me, love is tender and kind.” I said with my back towards her “For me, love is calm, like the rising and falling of a breath.”
“You are a bore. Love is passion, love is red, love is both flames and ashes. How can you reduce such a primitive feeling to calmness?” I turned around to look at her with a smile. How different love can be the more you learn about it.
„Don’t you think that the excitement you so enthusiastically describe, isn’t love but attraction? I mean once that is gone, what else is there? I think love is much more. Love is a universal feeling, because every single one of us has felt it before. Love has been the muse of so many poets, writers and artists. Wars have been thrown in the name of love. No, my dear, love is something much more profound and deep inside of us. It can’t be reduced to something as fleeting as excitement.“ She was quiet now. I couldn’t figure out if she was happy about my answer or not.
„Do we fall in love?“
I knew this question was coming. Could I blame her?
„Yes we do“ I responded.
She didn’t try to hide her enthusiasm. Her whole face lit up.
„Well tell me“ She screamed, smiling ear to ear. “Who is it?”
„It’s us“ I said, sitting in front of her again.
„I don’t understand.“
„We fell irrevocably in love with ourselves“ I repeated. “Don’t worry, with time you will understand. But for now, just know that our love, the love we provide for ourselves on a daily basis, is what has saved us from many tough times. It is a love we have built from scratch and have continued building ever since. It’s a love who will never, ever leave your side. It will always be there, holding your hand when no one else will. And before you ask, no, it wasn’t easy. Facing our darkest parts and still deciding to love them, was challenging.“
I tried to catch her eyes but she was looking down. I took her small chin and lifted her head gently. She leaned in and I kissed her forehead. I closed my eyes and smelled the familiar scent of our mother.
After a few seconds, she looked back at me and with a half smile she asked
„So tell me: how is it to fall in love with us?“.
© Elena Beste 2024-05-06