by Elena Beste
“I fell down!“ She screamed. I immediately ran, looking for her. When I found her, she was crunched over her left leg and was crying uncontrollably. „I fell down the stairs“ she said between hiccups.
„Can I see?“ I asked her. She was losing some blood from her knee, but it seemed to me that the worst pain was the shock.
„Alright, let’s get you healed“. I put her arm around my shoulder and took her to the kitchen. She seated herself up on the kitchen counter. „Now, sit still, close your eyes and try to think about something you like.“ Without hesitation, she closed her eyes. „I have never felt so much pain in my life“ she said, while still having her eyes closed. I laughed a little bit. „Well, I’ve got a surprise for you. We will feel so much more pain in our lives that a bruised leg won’t even bother us any more.“
„You mean we broke something?“ She had her eyes open again.
„Yes.“
„What do we break? Our arm?“
„No, our heart.“ She was silent for a minute, trying to figure out how someone breaks a heart.
„Does it hurt?“ She finally said.
„The worst pain we ever felt. A heartbreak leaves a scar deep in your soul“
„What happened to us and our heart?“ I finished nursing her leg and then jumped up the kitchen counter, so that I could sit next to her. „We lost someone. Someone who was of major inspiration in our lives. It was incredibly painful, like losing a piece of your heart. When something like this happens, people tend to get an armour around it, to make sure they don’t lose another precious piece. We did too. The dangerous thing is that you not only protect your heart, but you also stop using it. All of a sudden, our mind became our heart too and would decide for everything even for matters that logic can’t reach.“
„Did we become bad people?“ She asked.
„No, not bad people. Just broken. You will come to realise that there is a fine line between bad and broken. You have to be careful not to surpass it. It’s easy to turn bad once you get broken, but you have to remember that heartbreak can also be seen as an opportunity. An opportunity to choose to be a better person than who you used to be.”
God, I remember the ache. We were continuously unhappy. Always searching for something to distract us, always lying. We were miserable. It’s truly one of life’s toughest battles: resisting the urge to let pain shape you into a person you never ever want to meet.
„My leg doesn’t hurt now” she whispered. I smiled at her. “That’s also a funny thing about pain. As time goes on, it gets smaller and smaller.”
© Elena Beste 2024-05-16