dear climate change / i feel guilty / almost all of the time / about almost everything / i do or not do / i know that i sometimes buy clothes / that i don’t necessarily need / i know that i sometimes decide to buy meat / even though plant based products are stored right next to it / i know that i sometimes take the plane / although i know about its negative consequences / i am afraid / of how the world will look like in ten years / or even less / and i sometimes wonder / to which extent this future outcome will be my fault / because after all / i live / and as long as i live / i contribute to your downfall / so tell me / does that mean / that i should stop living ? /last week i went to the mountains / and i noticed that / for the first time in my life / i witnessed a winter without snow / a december without bonnet / a christmas without frost / a new year without red cheeks / and frozen fingers / barely able to hold my champaign glass / that seemed to overflow with predictions / and facts / from which i cannot close my eyesanymore / maybe i never really have / there are people / saying that you only have one life / and that you should simply live it to the fullest / without caring too much about our planet / they think / that they will be dead by the day / earth can no longer carry the weight of our deeds / but they forget / about the kids / they have set into a world / which is supposed to carry their deeds too / and so i am wondering / if it may be selfish to give birth to children / after having ruined their future living space / there are people / who are acting on this omnipresent menace / they try to convince others / of the urgency / of our current situation / nevertheless they know / that they will first have to change people’s mindset / before being able to change anything else in our world / but since change is built with time / and time the only thing / that cannot be bought / time risks once again / to provoke disaster / before change could possibly get the chance to catch it up / now that i am old enough to understand / the possible consequences / of earth’s upcoming death / i sometimes wish / that i could sacrifice my own life / for the sake of a planet / that has cared about so many people / but never really has been taken care of
© Anna Portmann 2023-01-04