Alex

Alex’s alarm buzzed for the third time, a stark reminder that the day was beginning. Lying in bed, a knot of anxiety tightened in his stomach, fearing the day’s interactions and the mounting unread emails waiting like a lurking beast in his inbox. Despite wanting to disappear into his sheets, he knew he couldn’t. With a sigh, he rose, feeling the cold floor beneath his feet as if stepping into battle.

During his solitary morning coffee, Alex savored the warmth and bitterness, a brief calm before the storm. He then headed out, catching the unusually quiet bus to work, appreciating the small mercy of fewer people and a moment to himself.

At work, productivity offered a refuge, immersing himself in tasks as a barrier against his troubling memories and regrets. But as the clatter of keyboards filled the space, his thoughts drifted to his difficult childhood and the looming shadow of his late mother. Overwhelmed, the thought surfaced unbidden: perhaps it was time to see a psychologist. The idea was terrifying but also filled with the potential for healing.

Confronting his past and discussing it openly with a professional might offer strategies to manage his anxiety, not just at work but in quieter moments too. As the day ended with his work unfinished, Alex acknowledged that admitting the need for help was a step toward courage.

During his break, Alex stepped outside, his cigarette break masking his true intention to contemplate quitting smoking. He pulled out his phone, typed “psychologists online,” then hesitated, shifting instead to scrolling through Instagram, the pattern of avoidance too familiar.

The cigarette burned down to the filter, a reminder of time slipping away and decisions postponed. This moment of avoidance might be the catalyst he needed. Realizing he couldn’t break this cycle alone, Alex considered keeping the browser open long enough to actually make an appointment.

That night, the quiet of his apartment weighed heavily. No distractions could keep his anxiety at bay. He allowed himself to think about seeking help, the fear present but mingled with desperation for change.

In the morning, renewed with purpose, Alex didn’t rush his coffee. He opened his laptop and resumed his search for a therapist, this time reading through profiles carefully. He selected a therapist specializing in anxiety and offering online sessions, and sent an inquiry. Closing his laptop, Alex felt fear but also hope.

It was a small but significant step toward addressing his struggles. He recognized this as the start of taking control of his narrative, moving forward rather than being swept along by it. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to begin the journey toward healing.