An Abandoned Lighthouse

I’m in this universe where there’s no words spoken

Where there’s no one to miss, where pain is your breakfast and blood is your dinner

And I’m here alone as I love and as I fall and I love you too much to bring you here, where it is dark and so humid you can’t even breathe

But I have stopped breathing since the first hope that’s now gone

And I wish, and I wish a lot for my life and my dreams and my family and all the good things in the world

But in this universe I’m in, no good thing is heard

There are only screams and tears and people tearing up their skin, scratching their eyeballs out

And it’s red and it’s dark purple and it’s black

It’s black and I don’t see a thing and I feel almost nothing

Except when light comes and it is not often and I’m an abandoned lighthouse waiting for a ship to save

But everyone forgets about me until I forget myself

I’m outsourcing for love because I lost it in me and gathering stones of memorabilia of the people that left me

The people I still wanna remember that don’t wanna remember me

And no matter how hard the tides are crashing and I’m corroded

And life seems so small and this universe is so vast

But I’m in a jar kept so good, but I’m not alive; I’m just there, but I am not and I feel like a failure

And my life is a sample of mistakes gathered into one; it’s like a book of sadness, one trouble after another

And may I wonder, when does it stop?

Because my back is hurting from carrying all the loads and my head is breaking from all its contents

And my hands are bleeding from all the thorns I’ve been holding on to

But still, I hear the raspy voice of peace in the middle of the woods telling me to come home

Into her arms I go with my breaking bones, in the universe that isn’t even there

Only an abandoned lighthouse searching for its light