angsty

Conforming

All the people around me are changing 
And I don’t wanna be here, staying the same.
When my friends are growing, 
Wouldn’t they start thinking I’m lame? 

But if I let people form me too much,
I’m afraid I’ll look in the mirror one day, 
Seeing nothing but a lie,
Molded by others like clay.

Caged

The first song on the playlist is playing again,
The watch is ticking and two hours passed,
I’m still lying on my bed, scrolling through my phone,
I said I’d just check my socials real fast
All the people share their life, it could be all fake,
They’re at least trying to be fake as fuck,
While I sit here doing nothing, no energy,
Too tired to count these syllables, wish me luck.

Fuck these years, that were supposed to be special,
And fuck me for wasting them,
Social anxiety, panic attacks, sobbing, ’cause I don’t belong
With the friends I’d like to call fam.

My room is all clean, i really hate it like this,
I put another poster on my wall,
Looks kinda cool, wish I could show it to someone,
But there is no person that i could call,
‘Cause everyone else has a life except for me,
I want to do this, I want to do that,
But it would take so much time, i just wanna sleep,
My hobbies are unpracticed, while I go to bed.

Fuck these days, that stay unused, just pass by,
And Fuck me for wasting them,
I wish I could just get the fuck up and go do
All the things that I like, ’cause damn…

My clean room, clean schedule,
I turn my music louder,
Mute the world.
Wish my room was messy,
I’d turn the world louder,
Take my headphones of.