Anxiety

Karina Saakyan

by Karina Saakyan

Story

Anxiety, the feeling of incomprehensive worry and panic that comes across like a large wave out of nowhere, paralyzing and running through the entire body like a shock wave. It brings with it cold sweat, insomnia, and goes deep into our brains and hearts. Nearly one out of five adults suffer from anxiety. The term in itself is rather large and vague and could cover anything from public speaking anxiety, to relationship anxiety to the type of anxiety that is being projected from the parent to the kid. At some point in life, we all feel anxious, nervous, and stressed. This, however, does not mean that feeling anxious should be devalued to well, it happens to everyone. Nor should it be abused in a sense that any small hiccup or challenge is to be masked under anxiety attack.

The real anxiety attack is not a fun experience, the piercing pain in the chest, and the inability to breathe are beyond the definition of pain. People who have ever suffered from such episodes are sensitive to the surroundings, and are careful with their thoughts, and words towards the outside world. I suffer from anxiety, ever since I can remember myself. However, my anxiety was unconscious until the day a boy, my high school best friend, told me “if I were to define you, I’d say you are anxious.” There I was hoping he would say kind, beautiful, generous – and he went for anxious. Great.

That made me wonder, why was I so anxious? Was it pressure to perform well at school? Was it the peer pressure and comparing myself to other girls? It was probably a mix of everything and as I grew into adulthood this anxiety did not vanish, instead it grew with me. It almost became a part of me, a side of my personality that has become so significant that it was all I could see when I looked at myself in a mirror: an anxious curve ball – literary.

For the longest time, and as I became more wary of this side of me, I had no idea how to approach this. How does anyone manage anxiety, and overthinking? With time, I learned that there is no recipe that fits all. Some of us find refuge in sports and physical activities, others in find home in music, art, or books. The one thing that is often passing under everyone’s radar is focusing on breathing. Breathing is such an essential part that we often forget to breathe correctly. It may seem like a minor detail, but this tiny little correction in breathing can lead long way, and be an effective solution to any panic attack.

With experience, I also noticed that my anxiety is linked to the fear of the unknown. Addressing this by planning and being more organized when it comes to a social event or a work presentation, has helped me to cope with the professional and social anxiety. Finding myself an accountability buddy, has been a game changer. Accountability buddy is someone you trust, and you show up for and someone who inspires you to show up for yourself like you would do for anyone else out there. Showing up for yourself, being there for yourself, supports you through the tough times and rewards you through the brighter days. Most of our anxiety can come from the fact that we are being tough on ourselves, being our own worst critic. While this is not the worst thing in the world, sometimes we need to take a moment to reflect on our milestones.


© Karina Saakyan 2023-07-17

Genres
Self-help & Life support
Moods
Challenging, Emotional, Hopeful, Inspiring, Reflective
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