baby’s heart

Perhaps it started when I was eight and all I wanted was to understand the world

When I barely cried and my angelic brown hair was curled

I wrote my first poem after my father died, talking about miracles and tales

Looking back now I understand why I am scared of all the males

My best friend bullied a fatherless girl for still being able to smile

Little did she know, a nine-year-old was aware her dad will never accompany her down the aisle

People started recognizing him in my behavior like it was something bad

I know he drank more than he showed affection. Nevertheless, he was still my dad

I believe my father would have saved me like I’d save my daughter and my son

I try to make him proud every day. As long as I’m living under the sun

Sadly it was never the night we met, but the night I lost my heart and soul

I made that poet a father, even though he wasn’t ready for that role

I’ll buy my husband my father’s fragrance and call him all the names he wanted to be called

It’s unhealthy and sick, but not having him around is like my heart’s drowning in salt

And if my husband ever died, I won’t be as strong as my beautiful mother

I’ll stop breathing and cut my heart out, ’cause what is life without my lover

I lied to my inner child, how will she ever forgive such a traitor

Loved her the most, but she must think me and my father hate her

I will heal my baby’s heart, and if it’s the last thing that I’ll do

Can you read my poems in heaven? Dad, I write because of you