Baeijing Bae

The Eclaired Channel

by The Eclaired Channel

Story

I was where I was supposed to be. Back in China, in my beloved Bae-jing bae, getting my Master’s degree at the “Harvard of China”. I was making money to support myself comfortably, meeting interesting people, learning Chinese, loving life.

I had spent a year living in China prior to that. In 2017, I was finishing my undergrad at Sciences Po Paris, the alma mater of virtually all of France’s presidents, and I was spending that last year on exchange at Cambridge University, having a blast. I had no desire to go back to France to start a Graduate Degree in god-knows-what at that pompous, underwhelming institution.

I was 23 and fluent in 6 languages. I had lived, worked and studied in 7 European countries which had me believe I was oh-so-international. England and Cambridge, much more international than France and my little Europe-focused campus, opened my eyes: I was perhaps pan-European at best. I aspired to be a global citizen and understand different cultures but what did I know? I only spoke European languages and I had barely ever left Europe!

It was time to leave my beloved Mama Europe and venture far, far out. So I went as far as the Far East. A language nerd, I had never intended to learn Chinese — I thought it was impossible! And so I decided to attempt just that. With zero knowledge of China or East Asia, I moved to Beijing.

In the beginning, I struggled and resented my circumstances (i.e. China). Nobody spoke a word of English and I didn’t speak a word of Chinese. Most of the time, I had no idea where I was, what I was ordering, what I was ingesting, how I’d get home or what people were telling me. None of my Western apps were working and I didn’t know anyone in China. So I resigned. I used to be a vegetarian for 7 years and now I was fed knuckles with fat, hairy pork skin. I’d close my eyes and swallow quickly, trying not to think. I lived with a wealthy-ish host family that didn’t speak English, didn’t feed me, and didn’t care much about my well-being. I was bored, lonely, and helpless. The cultural shock I came for had me awake at night, nudging me to leave.

In an attempt to meet people and find something meaningful to do, I reached out to a cultural exchange organization and offered to intern for them. I soon convinced them to give me a job, left the odd host family and moved to my friend’s couch, because the company paid me so little I couldn’t afford rent. Regardless, I was starved for some fun, connection, and meaning in my dull China experience, and fell madly in love with this new opportunity. I concluded my young bosses were the most fun people under the sun and refused to see the reality of my situation. It was like being on a rollercoaster that was going down at full speed — I sensed it would crash eventually, but it was so exhilarating that I just couldn’t get off and tried to stay high for as long as I could.

I spent 12 months in China like this, experiencing the highest highs and the lowest lows. It was exhilarating and excruciating. It pushed me to my limits. But it made me feel so alive.

© The Eclaired Channel 2023-05-29

Genres
Novels & Stories, Travel