Bleeding II

Cruel World

I’m one of the small minded people
a society so cruel and evil
to humankind all around
to ourselves as we lose grip to ground
I am caught in it, without ever resisting
it must end, don’t want to be part of that system
how to shatter the cycle, break all out?
without ending, buried in self-doubt?
without leading to guilt or fear
as I ponder about the next coming year
I strive, work and earn my marks
till the end of time, I’ll carry scars
staring at black numbers, I ache
brainwashed, thinking my life’s at stake
feeling dumb, stupid and vain
the world fades before my eyes
into pillows, I whisper muffled cries
watch my friends with eyes of envy
look down at them my heart still empty
what has this cruel world made of me
unfree, to just be!


Scared to dream

“dare to dream”, they say

after years of clinging onto fantasies
I am scared to dream
they might be doomed
to never blossom into truth
my body can’t take the repeated aches
each disappointment, each heartbreak
used to envision the future bright
paint pictures in vivid colour
but life is black and white
threw wishes into dried-up wells
again and again, endured painful spells
and bleed empty after fights
when all I could do was watch and see
a crash of my perfectly laid schemes
left me standing, scared to dream

Friday Night

deep fear of missing out
when you hang at each other’s house
want to bond, make friends,
well with some of you
just feels like a dead-end
you party, drink, well I kind of don’t
probably, I think, I won’t
and thoughts creep into my head
‘you will never fit in’
no friends if you don’t budge
yet so afraid of being judged
home is safe, I know this place
but if I just stay at home
will I always end up alone?
want to go, be there
it’s so cold outside
should I ride my bike
all across the town’s cold air?
just to chug some beer
it’s bitter on my tongue
and I can almost taste the fear
you won’t stick around
it’s just not fair
knowing I will always lose the fight
against the college Friday night