Boy-Girl Thing

About six months into the new reality, I was starting to develop connections and exploring friendships beyond the Russian-speaking circle of friends, though these were the girls that had all my trust, or so I thought. Many of the girls at school were worried about their relationship status, whilst, although I had multiple crushes on daily basis due to my personal insecurities about my looks, I was more focused on my studies. You see, before I have left on this adventure, someone in my family has told me that “a woman should be either smart or beautiful, and I was neither” in their eyes. Not only was it hurtful to hear, but hearing it from someone in your family, someone is supposed to love you unconditionally that hurt even more.

It is then fair to say, that my personal goals were nowhere near of finding a boyfriend as it was a thought so estranged to me, like who would ever like me? My entire focus was on proving that I am actually smart and having brought me to this school was the right decision. I had signed up to a dance club, this was keeping me in-check, as dancing was something I did back home – and this was my getaway.

One afternoon, after the dance club, I walked out all sweaty to get some water and there was this boy waiting for me. You could tell he was nervous pacing up and down, he was a year younger than me. In my head, and culturally, I have always been told that when you meet a man, he should be older; we also date to marry from where I come from, or so I was told.

The boy saw me approaching and his awkwardly cute smile, made my heart sink, as I had a feeling he was going to ask me something that would push me way out of my comfort zone. He was cute, light colored eyes, sand brushed hair and a crooked smile; yet the rest of the school or the Russian-speaking community found him a bit dorky. You are reading this and going who cares what they thought? Now, for someone who is trying to make friend, it was a big deal.

“Hey, can we talk”- he said to me as I came closer to the water fountain, where he waited for me.

“Sure, what’s up?”- I could feel the blood rushing to my head, and my heart pacing faster than ever.

“Hmm, well, I do not really know how to say this.” – awkward silence, while I am sipping water – “I like you, and I would like to ask you out.”

Pause. Silence. Me blushing, him staring waiting for a reply.

“Me? You are asking me out?”
“Yes, why are you surprised?”
“No one ever has asked me out” – he smiled, I panicked.- “Can I think about it?”- I asked while gathering my thoughts together.
“Sure,” – he clearly did not expect that answer – “you can think about it, let me know”.

An awkward hug, and end scene.

What had just happened? Had a boy taken an interest in me? What do I do now? I wanted to talk to my mom about this but would she have understood?