In 2020, when the COVID-19 epidemic hit Vietnam, we all had to stay at home for a long time. And eventually it turned out to be a crucial time that changed my life. Before all of this happened, I was in my second year studying chemical engineering technology at VNU (Vietnam National University) University of Science, a pretty well-known natural science university in northern Vietnam.
It seemed like everything was going well on the surface. My major scores were lower than others, but overall, it was not too bad. I’m involved in two clubs, one related to art and another to chemistry. I have friends supporting me. However, there were underlying issues that I consistently overlooked.
As I delved into my studies, it hit me that I just wasn’t into this field. The subjects didn’t grab my interest at all. I had to drink a lot of coffee every day to stay awake. The things others found easy to grasp just left me scratching my head. Once back home after classes, I’d collapse into bed with no energy left for anything else, not even taking care of myself or bothering with meals. This routine was taking a toll on me, both physically and mentally.
My sister and my aunt noticed something wasn’t right, and they decided to suggest me switch to another major. Because they chose the wrong major, they didn’t want me to follow in their footsteps. But I didn’t want to give up so easily because getting into this university was a big deal for me. I put in a lot of effort. I decided to try for a while longer to see if I felt more interested. If not, I would consider quitting school.
After a while, the pandemic arrived, and everyone was required to self-isolate, stay indoors and not be allowed to go outside. I returned home from university to stay with my family. I had a lot of time alone. This time gave me a chance to rest and reflect on myself. I had some serious thoughts in my mind, really dug into questions like who I am, why I’m here on Earth, what is my life purpose and what am I supposed to do,… These might sound all deep and philosophical, but I believe finding answers to them will help me make better choices in life, so my efforts aren’t wasted. I asked and just gave myself time to realize it without force.
© Quynh_Anh_di_Duc 2024-01-14